I am on one of my long evening strolls. I have been pondering over something I’ve been expecting which has not yet materialised and wondering whether it is deliberately being withheld. I am in a bit of a strop. I’m thinking furiously until…the thoughts are abruptly silenced.
Earlier I wished for the wind to stop and that the departing sun would wave a final goodbye while I sit on my favourite bench. The wind continues whistling around and through me and then it ceases. I am sitting in silence enjoying the warmth of the sun, watching a dog frolic in the grass, feeling utter freedom. After time-less time my legs shift slightly signalling it is now time to move on. I walk in silence until Inner Silence (IS) speaks.
IS: Trust, it’s all about trust. You already know this but I’m going to remind you until you get it, until Trust becomes as natural as breathing.
EJ: But I do trust all the time. I’ve done exactly what you’ve told me to do. How much more can I trust? What else do I have to do?
IS: Trusting is like being a baby. Have you observed how blissful babies are? They don’t worry about how their needs are being met, they simply trust in Self. Trust in Self. And before you ask I’m talking about the one Self of all That I Am. In Self is all wisdom, truth, power, love and all good. Everything you seek is already present within you, Self. Trust in nothing but Self. And stop looking to effects. There is nothing in effects.
EJ: What do you mean by effects?
IS: You know exactly what I mean. Effects are creations, look around you and all you see are effects.
EJ is walking through a path and on both sides are wild flowers and grass almost blocking her path.
EJ: You mean effects like these plants?
IS: Yes, like these plants and like you, the human you. The problem with trying to change effects is you’re fighting a losing battle. It’s like seeing yourself naked in front of a mirror and, instead of putting on some clothes, you’re trying to dress the reflection. (laughter) The reflection is the effect. Don’t try to change the effect, get back to Self. Trust in yourSelf. I am Self. I have all the answers you ever need. Why? Because as you trust in Me you start to realise that the very desires you have come from Me. And within me are the ways to fulfil them.
EJ: How do I know these desires are coming from you?
IS: You know because I have shown you my nature. You know because I Am You. I wouldn’t give you a desire to steal as you already are Infinite Good. You only need to realise this. I wouldn’t give you the desire to hurt another when my nature is Love that knows only Love. I wouldn’t give you the desire to suffer when I know only Freedom.
IS: As you trust in me more and more you are reminded of who I Am; that I am You. Now when I say “trust in me more and more,” I don’t mean that trust works in a cumulative fashion i.e. “Little drops of Trust, make the mighty Trust ocean and the beauteous Trust land.” (grin) I mean that every moment you trust gets you into the habit of trusting. You can achieve great things even if you have only been trusting for one second. A second, an hour, a day, twenty years, makes no difference to me how long. Just do it and get into the habit of trusting. Remember, I am the doer. As long as you trust in me all is well.
IS: I’m anticipating your next question about doing your part. There is nothing for you to do. The human consciousness is about doing, trying to understand so you can demonstrate something. You believe that to be healed or achieve such and such you have to have understood a certain truth. Nay! Nay I say. Come to me with all that you have and let me give you a clean slate. There are no beliefs where I Am. The only belief allowed is that I am All Good, Love, Life and I want all that is Good for you. That’s all you should be concerned with. Then let my infinite nature unfold as your experiences. Remember a baby doesn’t have to demonstrate abundance consciousness in order for her needs to be met. A baby cries when she has a need and when the need is met, it’s back to bliss-dom.
IS: I know you are thinking that all that studying and trying to interpret reality has come to nought. (wry smile) It all boils down to one thing EJ, your efforts alone has no power to free you from human effects. Your thoughts have helped to create the effects that you humans experience around you. No one is to blame. You didn’t know any better. Thinking, striving, understanding cannot make your body work in optimum ways. Your thoughts simply get in the way of wholeness. You think by doing your part you are helping. I say by all means do your part; be still and trust in Self.
As EJ continues her walk she comes across a jogger who tells her the path she intends to use has been cordoned off by the police. He advises her to retrace her steps and use another path. EJ thanks the jogger and passes the message on to another walker behind her.
EJ: Ha! If I’m to trust in Self, how come you didn’t tell me that path was closed?
IS: I just have.
EJ: No you haven’t.
IS: (Cosmic sigh) Enocia! What have I said about the One Self? There is only One Self that is in all. I am the Self of the man you’ve just spoken to. As a man, he is merely an effect, an appearance. However he appeared at the right time to relay the message to you to demonstrate that I speak/appear in infinite ways.
IS: I observe in your search for truth that you have read many stories of others who have known their oneness with Me. One thing you have done is taken their experiences as gospel, that I appear only as phenomena. You have concluded that Self can only appear as such and such. Know that all creation is light phenomena. The man you were speaking to just now is light that was manifested in front of you. In your reality, one minute you were alone and the next he appeared. Is there any difference between this manifestation and manifesting chocolate from the ether? None, they are the same, light particles taking form. When I say trust in Self I mean that you should trust in the infinite ways I choose to manifest. When you trust in Self you are automatically connected to all space, all times, all realms. You then rest in silence knowing that all is well and observe all that I am make their way to you. “I will go before thee and make the crooked places straight.” You don’t concern yourself with the how’s but know that everything is unfolding perfectly.
IS: When you trust in Self you have no fear in what is happening outside you. Your good is not dependent on another whether they are your employer, friends, etc. You simply trust in Me and I make all things appear. Even when you are doing anything physical in the human sense, trust in Self and see the work being done. I am the doer, always the doer, if you will let me. (smile)
IS: To have the kingdom that I have spoken about through many effects/human forms, you have to be like a baby that knows its oneness with me and cares not where his food is coming from. Some humans like to stamp their authority over a baby and think: “I am your mother and your sole provider.” The baby becomes programmed in the human way of looking towards effects for his supply. A mother who knows that Self is the one Self of all and is all Good will not have any misgivings about who feeds ‘her’ child. Have you not observed some ape species who breast-feed each other’s babies. Even among humans there are some who breast-feed each other’s kids because they don’t see any difference. Everyone in the community is the child’s mother-father.
IS: Remember that trusting already comes very natural for you and indeed for everyone. You already trust in me to keep the atoms in your body together. You trust in the traffic, when you jay-walk, that the cars will stop. You trust in the traffic lights that when the lights are Red the cars will stop, at least in the West. (ironic grin) Most of the time you trust in each other, the bus driver, the train driver, your colleagues, the bank teller etc. Whether you should trust in the media is another story. (wry smile)
IS: Trust in me in all ways. Trust that I am right where you are. I inspire you to love. I work through you. There is no you only Me. So Trust in Me. I am the Silent One.
EJ arrives at her mother’s and her mother asks her to carry a box, delivered earlier, up the stairs. EJ slips into Inner Silence and lets the silence carry the load. She feels nothing. Her mother remarks how strong she is. EJ smiles knowingly -she knows it is Inner Silence doing the work.