Jul 122004

Last week, I decided to walk to all my destinations. By the end of each day I had walked about 8 miles.

One thing that struck me was I wasn’t tired at all. One evening just as I was getting closer to home I had a thought that I hadn’t gone on my walks for sometime. Hang on, haven’t I already walked about 8 miles today? What’s going on? It was then I realised that I had no memory of the walk, at least no evidence on my body as tiredness or pain. So I went around the local marshes, via the canal, and by the time I got home I had forgotten that I had walked it.

“You must be pretty exhausted,” my mother said.
“Yeah, as exhausted as walking from the living room to the front door,” I said.

Why wasn’t I tired? Why hadn’t my body registered the walks? Because I had done so in Inner Silence. There are no memories in Silence. Whenever I walk and feel aches or pins and needles, I am accessing memories of past walks, mine or the collective, which becomes my reality. But when I retreat into Silence all these memories are wiped out and, in effect, every moment becomes a new one which has no connection to the previous moment.

Yesterday evening we put the heating on because…well it is summer in the UK, what other reason can there be? Ooops! Another collective memory just seeped out. I had stayed in all day and had a cardigan on. It would seem I was being besieged by memories of winter. When the heating came on I was sitting in Silence listening to the television. As it got warmer I had the urge to take the cardigan off but I didn’t. I was curious to see how my body was reacting to the heat. Since all is Mind, my body is simply another idea or thought form in Mind. I started to itch and felt uncomfortable. Ha, more memories. I did nothing and rested in Silence. More memories resurfaced in the form of thoughts of heat, more itches, the urge to scratch and as they emerged they were consumed by Silence.

Now if Silence knows nothing of memories, what’s all this about us needing to heal the past in order to have a nicer future. What difference does the past make? All I need to do is access the Eternal Now which has infinite choices. If I had dwelt on memories of past walks, I would only need to walk a few miles before exhaustion kicks in. Who needs to be reminded of those lovely calluses?

The above experience has made me realise that there are many things I still hold within me as personal and collective memories. Even pain I experience from time to time are memories. I know that when I am in Silence and not label pain as good or bad it passes away. I guess my purpose is to experience Silence through this Chalice called Enocia. When Silence is my only point of reference, memories and karma are irrelevant. I used to believe that a past needs to be relinquished in order for me to move on. Where do I move on to when the Eternal Now is all there is?

My mother told me this morning that I had the physical body of a 16 year old though my face looks like I’m in my twenties. I told her it’s because I’m letting go of collective memories which dictate how the body should appear at a certain time in one’s life. Can’t say I’ve completely achieved my ultimate goal of eternal youth – then again if I looked like a 16 year old, no one’s going to take me seriously. Aha, another collective memory – who gives a toss!

It can’t be that simple! What about if I’ve hurt someone in the past? How can I make amends? OK, say you ask for forgiveness. The other might forgive but not forget and that memory is bound to hold him or her exactly where they were, so what difference does it make? On the other hand Silence has no records of my ever harming another or indeed of ever committing a ‘sin.’ And because that is my Reality this is what the experience is going to be on the ‘physical’ plane. The other I have ‘hurt’ might mysteriously feel a release, anger melting away or find that s/he has forgotten the event. If not, well at least I’m living in a Reality where there is no sin or punishment, no repercussions, no cause/effect, or karma.

Surely there are memories that are good, eternal memories that stand the test of time? Very true. There have been many teachers who have left us teachings that are eternal truths that can be applied to one’s life. These teachings could be regarded as eternal memories. On the other hand, if one takes these teachings too literally, one is trapped in a vicious cycle of wanting to experience what a particular teacher had realised rather than have one’s own realisation. Although I have found many teachings useful, the way I see it, they are still memories. As I’m writing this, I’m aware I’m spewing much of the same, more memories. I would rather rely on Silence where every moment is a new opportunity for ever-new realisations.

But, but, but……Silence
But, but…………Silence

I happened to watch a TV movie yesterday called “Merlin.” It had something to do with Lancelot and Arthur and Excalibur…I can’t remember! Merlin spends much of his life fighting this ‘evil’ woman whose name escapes me. Sorry folks, I’ve got the memory of a sieve. Anyway at the end Merlin is told by a light entity whatsit that when you forget something it ceases to exist. Merlin has a confrontation with this ‘evil’ woman and tells her they’re going to forget her. They walk away and don’t look back. Because she ceases to exist in their memory, all her evil creations vanish. I thought it was excellent timing and well worth staying at home for.

It is my experience that Inner Silence is Freedom. Nothing else matters.

I am Freedom
Enocia Joseph