Sep 062004

“Pilate saith unto him [Jesus], What is truth? ” (John 18: 38)

Years ago while I was at university I was inspired to study the truth. I wanted to know what made me the person that I am. Am I a gender, race, sexuality, class, religion, creed, nationality, genetics, my thoughts, emotions, my experiences…what? I read many different cultural theories of society and popular philosophical ideas and I liked the idea of being a post-modernist. You see, post-modernism is a mish/mash of ideas where you can interpret things anyway you like because truth is subjective. I concluded that I was not a woman, neither was I black, heterosexual, British, post-colonial, my occupation, my qualifications, my class, my thoughts and emotions, I was…er…everything and nothing. Anything goes. I should have stuck to being a post-modernist, but I felt it necessary to continue the search for the truth of my identity. There had to be something more concrete. So I studied the new age, esoteric, theosophical and other spiritual literature, and different religions etc. Now I’ve come full circle. More on this later.

In Robert Anton Wilson’s book, “Prometheus Rising” he discusses the various imprints or programmes we experience as humans. Each imprint or “circuit” is a paradigm, a way of relating to the world; and can be so real to you that you believe it to be the truth of reality. As babies, we start off with a tabula rasa then the programming starts. First, you are programmed that your survival is dependent on your mother’s (and/or father’s) love, care and nurture. Fear of withdrawal of love and nurture is also imprinted. Second, you start learning about being territorial and how to use emotional power to get what you want. Third, when you are “conditioned by human artifacts and symbol systems.” You learn about how to put things into labels and categories. Fourth, you have your first sexual experience and you learn about morality and social conduct. Fifth, for those who are drawn to experience how the mind affects the body and the “gimmicks” used to effect healing. Wilson cites Christian Science and NLP as falling within this paradigm. Sixth, when you have experiences of the collective unconscious and other mystical experiences. You are introduced to Jung’s archetypes and synchronicity; and you are aware of the Akashic record that is supposed to contain the past, present and future of humanity. Seventh, an imprint caused by “very advanced yogas” that enables you to reprogramme yourself and opens you up to bigger possibilities of alternative realities or universes. Eighth, the imprint caused by near death experiences or out of body experiences when you experience other realities that do not conform to the consensus view. According to Wilson, this imprint “tunes the brain into the non-local quantum communication system suggested by physicists such as Bohm.” (pages 39-41).

Though Anton’s ideas are maps only I could relate to the various “circuits” as I’ve experienced them all. I’m sure many people have experienced at least the first four circuits, which come as part of the package of being human. Others are inspired to continue their “journey” in their quest for human excellence. Part of my journey involved studying the psychotherapeutic tool NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). It came to a point when the Inner Voice suggested I should read Science and Health written by Mary Baker Eddy, founder of the Christian Science religion. Science and Health is the Christian Science textbook. At the time I believed I had found the Truth to reality. I started going to church and even considered becoming a Christian Science Practitioner. I was most puzzled when, after a few months, the same Voice told me to abandon ship and move on to other teachings. I went through a period of self-doubt; why would the One who brought me to this teaching guide me away from it? In the end I followed the Voice’s advice and have never regretted it.

There was a time in my life when I didn’t have a clue about reincarnation then I embraced it as very real. I believed I had lived many lives and I was meeting soul mates in order to work out past karmas…you know, that old chestnut. :-) Then something shifted when I knew for a fact that I had never had a human experience. At this stage, friends who believed in reincarnation, asked me how I could be so sure. Surely everyone has experienced a past life? I knew for a fact that I hadn’t. This still holds true for me. I know this is my first and only human experience. I feel as if I’m on a fast-track system of being human. Or maybe it is my “circuit” speaking. ๐Ÿ˜‰

The final leap from circuit seven to eight occurred when the Voice advised me that to be free it was necessary to release the paradigm of lessons and saviourship and be who I am – the formless Knower and the Known. I had invested a lot from this reality and even fancied myself as a bit of a “guru”; but let it go I did. It was like falling into an abyss and free falling. I have been free falling ever since. As to the Voice, it is no other than my all-knowing real Self, Me.

Within the paradigm of the formless, I’ve had to let go of many things I’ve held to be true. Now that I’m looking at the world in a new way I keep finding more hidden messages and the various ways that reality is being manipulated behind the scenes to fit personal agenda. One popular tool for manipulation is language or what psychologists refer to as the Sleight of Mouth technique. Sleight of mouth is a way of using language to distract someone into experiencing a reality one wants the other person to experience. It’s rather like magicians using sleight of hand to distract their audience’s attention from knowing how they perform their tricks. Like many things, the sleight of mouth technique is as good as the user. We all use this technique to some degree. Writers, politicians, the legal profession, the media, educators, and medical staff are adept at the sleight of mouth technique.

I recently came across a website that claims that the true authors of the New Testament were Romans and that Jesus was a fictitious character. It has been argued that Jesus’ teachings originate from Sophist philosophy. Truth or fiction, it makes no difference to me as I see no real difference between my ideas, ideas from a novel or from people alive now. I have to admit that though I have admired the personality, Jesus, I’ve never been in awe of him; I’m not in awe of anyone. I use ideas if I find them useful. I’m a big fan of Star Trek and have been inspired by a few episodes, which I have used in my writing. I would be quoting the Belgian comic detective, Tintin, if I could find anything worthwhile to use. It matters not to me whether the character is fictitious, historical or whatever. At the same time, while I have cited many ideas from Jesus’ teachings, I have no qualms about challenging the same ideas that I have held to be true. It is how I unfold truth; if there are flaws in an idea it has to go. Whether this website is another variation of the sleight of mouth technique is up to the readers to decide.

During my search for the truth of my identity, I have studied the King James Bible, old and new testament. I have spent hundreds of hours watching Christian television programmes and I’ve heard many different interpretations of Jesus’ teachings. I found the personality, Jesus, to be a master storyteller, and I admired his use of metaphors to expound ideas. One story I’ve always loved is the Prodigal Son.

“And he said, A certain man had two sons: And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.” (Luke 15: 11-14)

In the above parable, one son asks for his share of his inheritance and goes away and fritters it all. He gets into so much lack that he finds a job looking after pigs, and is so hungry that he’s tempted to eat the pig’s food. Then he comes to his senses and decides to go home and ask his father for forgiveness. He’s even prepared to act as his father’s servant to make amends for his error. When his father sees his son approaching, he has compassion for him. He orders his servants to dress his son in fineries and to prepare a feast to celebrate his son’s homecoming. However, when the man’s other son hears about the celebrations he isn’t pleased at all as he thinks his father is being unfair to him. The way he sees it, he has never frittered his father’s “substance” away yet his father, in his opinion, is playing favourites. His father’s response is:

“Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.” (Luke 15: 11-32)

This story has been popularly used to illustrate our “inheritance” as spirit beings. We already have access to the Kingdom but when we “step” away from it we experience lack, yet the moment we wake up to the truth of our identity, we experience our true nature. Many teachers, Christians and non-Christians alike, have used this parable to teach about prosperity consciousness. I have to admit I’ve bought this interpretation hook, line and sinker. Recently it occurred to me that I had fallen for the old sleight of mouth technique – the power of language to influence one to see reality in one way. What do I mean by this? I’ll illustrate with a little story.

Imagine that the Infinite Formless One, decides He would like to experience Himself as infinite forms. As it is written in Genesis, “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” (Genesis 1: 26). So the Infinite splits up into infinite forms. The only snag is not everyone wants to experience life as forms so they decide to stay home being formless. Just like the son in the above parable who stayed at home with his father. If the Infinite is experiencing life as forms, how many are left at home being formless? Infinity, of course. It doesn’t matter how much you take away from infinity, you are always left with infinity. If the Infinite with infinite powers is appearing as a form, can this form be any less than the Infinite? Of course not. That which is Powerful creates an extension of Self i.e. Powerful. Perfection can only create Perfection. Love can only create Love. The Infinite can only create what is Infinite.

In that case how come we’ve been led to believe that we are in lack because we are acting outside of the Infinite? Surely, no matter where you are, you are always the same – infinite. Unless you have bought into the old sleight of mouth trick that lets you believe that you can only be whole if you are within the Collective. Remember we live in a realm of maya/illusion which gives you whatever you believe to be true. If you think you are in lack, lack is what you will experience.

Was this story produced to mislead others into believing that the only way to salvation is through a saviour? When one realises that one has always had all power, what use is there for a saviour? Hmmm! The most important question for me is this. “Why have I been so blind to this truth?” I believe I can see things clearly because I’ve stepped out of the box, the consensus view of reality.

Now make of this what you will. As for me I only know the following to be true for me.

I exist – I am
I am Infinite
There are no limits
There are no rules or laws to hinder me
I am formless
I create my reality
Everyone is free to believe what they wish

All I care about now is to be Me. Reality is right where I am. Whatever there is to know about the First Cause is within me now. If I want to know God, it’s about getting to know who I am. And what is true for me is true for all, since everyone is the infinite in manifestation.

So I’ve come full circle. Years ago I went on a quest for truth and arrived at post-modernism – that there is no Truth only what you believe is true. My life is the revelation of Truth. The more of me I reveal the more Truth is revealed. In the meantime, if I want to believe oranges are blue, who is going to stop me?

I am Truth,
Enocia Joseph