Sep 162004

One decision I have struggled with is how to treat others. What is the loving thing to do? Do I put other people’s needs first, or do I focus on my own needs? I realise now that it depends on how one perceives reality. To cut a long story short, I now only take into consideration my needs and only my needs. What is good for me is good for all.

The way I see it, there is only Me. I am experiencing Infinite Enocia-ness, thus all there is is Enocia. The same is true for Mary, John, Peter et al. Since I am all there is, every choice I make has to be what brings me joy. My life is the manifestation of how I express my truth. Nothing else matters as nothing else exists. To put it another way, only One exists.

I’ve had intimate relationships when my partner has decided to end the relationship. I’ve heard the old chestnut: “It’s not you, it’s me.” (I’ve even used the same line a few times). At the end of the relationship, I felt rejected, angry and disconsolate. How could he do this to me? I tried to make him feel guilty. I tried to hurt him. I tried to change. I even tried to work things out. But we both knew there was no going back. It was only a matter of time when it was completely over.

However long it has taken me to get over a relationship, it has always been for the best. At the time it felt so wrong and unfair but I knew my partner had a right to do what felt right for him. What was good for him was always good for me, though it took a while for this truth to sink in. When I have ended a relationship I have always known it was the right thing to do, and I knew the other would get over it, eventually.

In the same way, I use the same principle to live my life. I consider what makes me happy. If my actions bring me joy I do it. I write what expresses my truth. I do what I love. It doesn’t matter if I’m having a discussion with someone. I choose the words that make me feel joy or expresses my truth. Since there is only Me, I am speaking to myself. Would I choose to hurt myself? What other choice is there?

I am aware others might read into my actions the way they want to. They might even find my truth offensive. I can’t help that! Neither could my ex-boyfriend help how I reacted to ending our relationship. I might not have liked it but I had to deal with it.

How could you say you have to put your needs first? Where would you be if your mother put her own needs first? What kind of a world will we have if parents put their needs first? I would say the same truth applies. If you follow your desire to love and nurture, it makes you want to have a family. You then get to express that desire to love and nurture others which involves putting your children’s needs first. It’s part and parcel of raising a family. I have other needs. My stories are the equivalent of giving birth and raising a family. Writing is what gives me joy. Expressing my truth is what I love doing. Raising a family, in the human sense, does not.

When I make a choice of focusing only on what brings me joy and expressing my truth, the dilemma over freewill is resolved. There is no longer anyone’s freewill to consider. There is always only the one choice of Self-expression. And I trust others to do the same.

I believe if we all did what we loved, the earth will be instantly transformed to nirvana. It’s a paradigm that hasn’t been tested as people are too busy trying to sort other people’s lives instead of expressing their joy. I say, do what you love and everybody is happy.

“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” Too right!

I am Joy,