Sep 272004

When I used to get home early, I used to watch a British TV soap called “Coronation Street.” There was a story line about a young woman called Karen, who had regretted attending her mother’s funeral and decided to make up for her past mistakes by being nice. It was such a contrast from the Karen who is hostile and always ready for a fight, to the Karen who is trying her best to be good, nice and loving.

Her character was a caricature of what the writers imagined being Christian-like was all about i.e. trying to love your neighbour as yourself. Karen’s friends didn’t like the new Karen. Her husband was nearly driven to seek solace with a woman he’d previously had an affair with. It was as if what Karen was trying to be was too unnatural. No one could be that nice. In the end Karen couldn’t sustain it and reverted to the Karen everyone knew and loved. I stopped watching after that.

What’s wrong with being nice? What’s wrong with being loving? What’s wrong with being true to yourself?

“But you’re being too nicey, nicey. You’re not perfect, you’re only human!”

I beg to differ. Actually, it is our nature to be good and loving and nice. Everyone at some point has experienced loving another without wanting anything in return. Everyone has been nice just because it felt good to be nice. But if you persecute someone because he or she is too nice….well you are not appreciating what you are.

The truth is that when you are in touch with the Love that You are, you are nice and good and sweet whether you like it or not. Even when you feel the human personality resisting, the Love that you are, prevails. This has been my experience.

There’s nothing wrong with being nice. There’s nothing wrong with being good. There’s nothing wrong with being loving. There’s nothing wrong with being Yourself, who is good and loving and nice.

Just for the record, I am nicey, nicey and proud of it.

All my love,

  6 Responses to “What's wrong with being nice?”

  1. My problem with some “nicey, nice” people, is that some of them are a little TOO PROUD of it! I’ve met quite a few condescending “nice” people, also passive aggressive ones. Personally, I don’t trust people that are “too nice” I reckon people who are too nice, have pretty big shadows, not to mention it’s one dimensional and boring. Be nice, yes but also be REAL!

  2. Be real. Know thyself.
    That’s what it’s all about in spirituality, isn’t it?
    Of course, nobody knows what reality really is. If anyone really did, they wouldn’t be here anymore, whether enlightened or not. Reality is total. Knowing reality means being it, nothing less. Partial knowledge is nothing.
    This means no human thought is real – including this one.
    No wonder, then, that people, things and situations often don’t strike me as true. However, it’s no use blaming others for not being real, since I don’t have a clue myself. I do have my faith, my love of the Truth, but that’s only useful insofar as it helps others teaching me what I truly am. Alone I am nothing, and in reality I only receive what I give.
    The most realistic option left to me, then, is to forgive others for mirroring my own confusion about what I am, and to be grateful for the opportunity to become aware of my projection.

    Thank you, Laurel, for saying what I needed to hear.

  3. hello, i think being kind takes greater strength and courage than being a jerk. There is a quote that says ‘hatred is weakness the strong man is kind’ and I believe that. Giving into anger, hatred, acting like a rude cold hearted person is not being ‘tough’ and is nothing admirable in my opinion. Youre right though, being excessively kind often looks awkward and fake to people, and I’m sure with some people is its unnartural and fake, but if its not and its genuine, it shows a greater sense of understanding of love and compassion. It is sad in the world today people tend to mistake kindness for weakness, and seize upon and ridicule people who are good to others. And also, people who are natural ‘takers’ run to them
    and drain them dry if allowed. In the end I think if you look at yourself and ‘know thyself’ and see that youre a kind person, know that God created you that way thank God, and NEVER waiver in your ethics to be yourself naturally.

  4. Being nice is looking at only the other person’s goodness and ignoring their evil side. But being nice and naive is going to hurt you. It’s when you get hurt after being nice that really puts you to a challenge to being nice again – thats where you start becoming a true spiritual person. Being nice so that the other person likes you is being selfish; and often appears unnatural and fake. Another version of niceness is: “I won’t hurt you so don’t hurt me”. This is the weakling or wussy version; Men hoping entice women is another version of niceness – not a very good one because it has evil intent i.e. the girl will like their niceness and in return fall in love with them. This version of niceness doesn’t help in building strong relationships either. Another big put off is if your family doesn’t like someone and you can’t say NO to that person because you are too nice – now thats a true weakling.

    Submitting yourself to hatred and having a cold heart on the other hand is selling your soul to the devil. He will use it and abuse it and you will end up in a lot trouble and hate! Caving in to negative behavior is the true weakling of all. So treat people with respect and let the relationship build naturally! Good luck and God bless Pakistan 😉

  5. Thank you very much for your commentary, Imran-Khan.

    Are you still playing cricket? 😉

    Have a NICE day!

    Love, Enocia

  6. Being nice is fine if you feel like nice. No cost no merit. Being nice out of rational/philosophical conviction that it is also being right garners merit.