When my mother told me a male friend was coming round to keep her company, I couldn’t resist teasing her.
“Have fun, but don’t do what I wouldn’t do!” I said.
“What’s that then?” mum chuckled.
“I know what you old folks are like when you get together. Actually, you might be thinking of doing it but your body is not going to cooperate.”
“As far as that is concerned, thinking is all I can do.”
“The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.”
In the human experience, your body starts off being vibrant and full of life and then slowly deteriorates, gets stiffer, weaker, older and finally it dies. Just because your body is getting physically inactive doesn’t necessarily mean you stop having desires. For some, those unfulfilled desires are still very much alive in their thoughts. Reminds me of an elderly-looking man who was chatting me up recently and asking me for my phone number. Just shows that despite appearances, my friend still has unfulfilled desires. Nice try, mate, but it ain’t happening with me! Not in this lifetime, not even in your dreams!
I believe one cause of sickness, old age and death in humanity is the belief in duality i.e. spirit/material; mind/body; immortal/mortal; truth/illusion; true self/dream self. As long as I’m believing there are two versions of myself: eternal spirit in one realm and the temporal human in another, they both have different destinies and never the twain shall meet.
The first time I experienced two versions of myself was when I was ten years old and had been in a car accident. Just as I was falling to the ground, I heard a voice in my head telling me the accident wasn’t real and I was dreaming. I believe the voice was myself living in spirit who only knows perfection. The me who was injured couldn’t accept that I was dreaming and I ended up in hospital though only for a few hours.
The next time I experienced that other self was during meditation, where I found myself in a state of infinite bliss. I realised that was my real home. When I “descended” into hell i.e. my ordinary human consciousness, I went into deep depression. For years I not only felt suicidal, I fantasised about suicide a lot. I kept my suicidal fantasies to myself as I didn’t want to end up in an asylum. My only consolation was during meditation, I could escape to that realm of bliss for a few hours.
Years later, I discovered that consciousness of inexhaustible bliss had a name called Samadhi. I’ve also heard there are those who have been so ensconced in that bliss, they have not returned to the human consciousness. While they are in bliss, their human form is declared dead. I’ve often wondered why I wasn’t able to escape into that bliss forever. Why did I have to return to human form?
I’ve come to realise that if I had stayed, I would have been perpetuating the spirit/matter, immortal/mortal duality belief. I’ve since realised that the me that I experienced as pure light and bliss is the same me that is writing this piece now. It’s rather like water that can appear as solid, liquid and gas. In other words, the me as pure bliss was/is me as gas and the me in human fleshy form is me as solid. Just because I can appear in different states doesn’t change who I am in essence.
I am Light and will always be Light whether I’m solid, liquid or gas.
As Light, my nature is boundlessness, freedom, and limitlessness.
So instead of trying to escape the world through Samadhi, I choose to live with the awareness that I am Light here and now; I choose to express my Light in everything I do; and I also choose to live with the awareness that all aspects of life is Light now. I find it’s a matter of constantly remembering that the physical universe is Light in solid form. I believe once the universe is awakened to its true identity as Light, it becomes boundless and limitless.
Speaking of remembering, earlier today when I accidentally hit my knee cap, I quickly reminded myself: “I am Light and All is Light.” The pain was dissolved in seconds. If I’d been identifying myself as matter, I would be limping hours later.
So when I get to my mother’s age, I expect to get involved in all sorts of “mischief” because I know that when the spirit is willing there’s no other to obstruct it.
Light is all there is.
Related articles: Sort It Out, Light!; Back to Basics – Living as Light; Are My Human Experiences Real?; On Being Spirit; Is God a Mathematician?; Where There is No Mind – Revisited; Where Do You Live? – Revisited; Life Comes to Life When I Do; Love Makes You Act Out of Character; Waking Up From the Dream of Duality; The Best is Yet to Come; The Awakener; The Spirit is Willing…No Buts; The Sun God; Cause and Effect; Same Old Me; Retraining My Dog; Downward or Upward Spiral?; The Two Paths; Being Here Now; Of Spirit and Claiming Your Spirit Passport; Some Thoughts on Meditation – Haha; Being Full of Self; Solid, Liquid, and Gas; What It Means to Live in a Spiritual Universe